Selected Podcast
Kids and Social Media: Should You be Concerned?
Today's children grow up immersed in digital media, which has both positive and negative effects on healthy development. Dr. Arjun Reyes, discusses kids and social media influences, cyber bullying, how to monitor online your children's online activities, and so much more.
Featured Speaker:
Arjun Reyes, MD
Dr. Arjun Reyes is a psychiatrist in Moorpark, California and is affiliated with Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital. He received his medical degree from University of Louisville School of Medicine and has been in practice for more than 20 years. Transcription:
Kids and Social Media: Should You be Concerned?
Melanie Cole (Host): If you’re like me, you’re seeing your children treat their phones as if it’s their lifeblood and it can be quite concerning for a parent. My guest today is Dr. Arjun Reyes. He’s a diplomat of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and he’s the Medical Director for Henry Mayo’s Behavioral Health program. Dr. Reyes, what’s happening with our kids and the digital world and do you feel that this is a positive thing or a little bit of both, a little positive, a little negative?
Dr. Arjun Reyes, MD (Guest): Well for my opinion, I think it’s a little bit of positive and probably a lot of negative. I think that with the – there have been studies that have shown that the increased use of Smart Phones has actually increased the rate of depression, suicide attempts and completed suicides among teens over the past five or six years. So, I think that’s been an issue and there is definitely an association. So, I think it is a problem. I think that the use of social media has created so many different types of problems that we didn’t have ten- fifteen years ago.
Melanie: So, what age – let’s start with our little guys, because sometimes you will be in a restaurant and you will see a little kid with a little phone in their hand to keep them occupied at the restaurant. What age do you think it’s okay, because now the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Reyes, has changed the definition of screen time and so what age do you think we can kind of get our little ones involved in some of this stuff?
Dr. Reyes: I think in general, social media is very addicting. So, I can’t give you a specific age, but I mean, kids ages 9, 10, 11 have their own cell phones now and they are using them all day, all night to communicate with many different people. I think it creates a problem. I mean they get addicted to it and what happens generally, is that you get obsessive with your phone, which results in you studying less, sleeping less, spending less time being connected to other people and so, you basically live kind of an illusion where you are not really relating to people as much. You are not developing the social skills that are required and I think the generation today; the young kids, they are not developing the ability to relate, their social skills are not as good, and connecting with other people is much more difficult especially when you just basically looking at platforms like Facebook, Instagram, etc.
Melanie: So, as long as you bring up Instagram, Snap Chat, Facebook; should we parents start from a place of trust and if our children are say teenagers and they are using these social media outlets, do we friend them as it were, do we watch their progress on there or do we trust them and say okay, every once in a while; I want to look at your Instagram or look at your texts because text is huge. So, do we start from that place of trust or do we kind of get right into it?
Dr. Reyes: I think you probably are going to have to really assess it because – if you look at all the research, there is definitely an increase in depression, an increase in anxiety, an increase in problems with social media. So, I think as parents; I think it’s important that you monitor your kid’s communications through those platforms. The extent of it, I’m not exactly sure. But it’s something that needs to be looked at and needs to be discussed. But it definitely needs to be monitored.
Melanie: Now, I mentioned before that AAP changed the recommendations on screen time. Kids have to use their computers Dr. Reyes for school now. I mean they are on those computers all the time and maybe they switch tabs and run over to Instagram real quick, but for the most part; they have to do a lot of their work on screen time. How can we as parents, kind of look at that and draw that fine line and say okay, you know I want you off of a screen, but they have to write a paper on there for school?
Dr. Reyes: That’s tough. It’s tough to figure out how much time spent on a screen is related to school versus social time. I mean I think that’s – but I think there are ways to figure out how much someone spends on different social media platforms and that will give you a better sense of how much time is being spent wasted as opposed to studying.
Melanie: So important that we communicate with our children. Do you want us I mean as a psychiatrist; do you want us to be discussing these things with our children and say I want to know if somebody is cyberbullying you? I want to know if you’re having issues or getting into drama on these social media sites?
Dr. Reyes: Oh, absolutely. I think what’s happening now is most kids are relying on other people to help them with their problems as opposed to parents or older siblings. So, you really – they are not getting the guidance that they need and if you look at it, social media creates an image that’s not accurate and that’s the reason. For example, let’s talk about like eating disorders. The reason that eating disorders are amplified by social media is because people have an unrealistic view of the image, especially females. So, I think in a lot of areas, in terms of psychiatric issues; it’s just going to continue to get worse.
Melanie: Do you have some tips for us as parents of things that we can do to – I mean we don’t want to have to resort necessarily Dr. Reyes, to turning off the Wi-Fi router. Do you have some tips that you can give parents that they can use right now, today in dealing with all the social media and our children?
Dr. Reyes: Yes, I think there are a couple of things you can do. Ones is that it takes effort and I know that families are very busy, kids have different activities; but I think if you can work on increasing your connectedness with your children on a regular basis; you will get a better sense of how they’re doing. I mean even – I have two adult kids now, but I mean if you made sure that you had spent dinnertime with your kids three or four times a week, that’s helpful. I mean a lot of families nowadays don’t even actually eat dinner together. I mean if you could spend some quality time in terms of connecting and relating; you get a better insight on how your kids are doing and then you’ll get a sense of what they’re doing with their spare time and what they do on these social media platforms.
Melanie: Can we use these things in this tech and this digital world to teach things like empathy and truth and true communication?
Dr. Reyes: Yes, I think you can because if parents spent more time with their kids connecting; the kids will feel better connected to people in general. I think social media, what it does, it kind of creates a false relationship. I mean most of the relationships on social media are not real. They are an illusion. And you can’t create compassion, caring when you have a relationship that’s an illusion.
Melanie: What about being good role models? Obviously, our teenagers are learning to drive and if they see mom and dad texting while they are driving; they’ll assume that’s okay. If mom and dad are always staring down at their phones and on their social media sites; the kids will do the same. What should we do as role models?
Dr. Reyes: If you want to teach your kids correct behavior; you have to have correct behavior. I mean there is no other way around it. You can’t tell your kids to do one thing and you do another. It’s impossible to change someone’s behavior that way. So, yeah absolutely. Being a role model is very important.
Melanie: So, wrap it up for us Dr. Reyes. Give your best advice as the Medical Director of Henry Mayo’s Behavioral Health Program; you have seen a lot of teens. You have seen parents and families going through all of this together. Give us your best advice. What do you want us to know about the digital lives of our kids?
Dr. Reyes: I think here’s my best advice. I think as a parent, you need to work on your relationship with your kids daily, every moment. Teach them to be better people. I mean that’s the only way the world is going to be a better place. And if you’re spending too little time with them; and too little time understanding what they’re experiencing; you are not really going to know what they are doing via social media or anything else. So, that’s basically my advice.
Melanie: Thank you so much for being with us today. You’re listening to It’s Your Health Radio with Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital. For more information, please visit www.henrymayo.com that’s www.henrymayo.com . This is Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for tuning in.
Kids and Social Media: Should You be Concerned?
Melanie Cole (Host): If you’re like me, you’re seeing your children treat their phones as if it’s their lifeblood and it can be quite concerning for a parent. My guest today is Dr. Arjun Reyes. He’s a diplomat of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and he’s the Medical Director for Henry Mayo’s Behavioral Health program. Dr. Reyes, what’s happening with our kids and the digital world and do you feel that this is a positive thing or a little bit of both, a little positive, a little negative?
Dr. Arjun Reyes, MD (Guest): Well for my opinion, I think it’s a little bit of positive and probably a lot of negative. I think that with the – there have been studies that have shown that the increased use of Smart Phones has actually increased the rate of depression, suicide attempts and completed suicides among teens over the past five or six years. So, I think that’s been an issue and there is definitely an association. So, I think it is a problem. I think that the use of social media has created so many different types of problems that we didn’t have ten- fifteen years ago.
Melanie: So, what age – let’s start with our little guys, because sometimes you will be in a restaurant and you will see a little kid with a little phone in their hand to keep them occupied at the restaurant. What age do you think it’s okay, because now the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Reyes, has changed the definition of screen time and so what age do you think we can kind of get our little ones involved in some of this stuff?
Dr. Reyes: I think in general, social media is very addicting. So, I can’t give you a specific age, but I mean, kids ages 9, 10, 11 have their own cell phones now and they are using them all day, all night to communicate with many different people. I think it creates a problem. I mean they get addicted to it and what happens generally, is that you get obsessive with your phone, which results in you studying less, sleeping less, spending less time being connected to other people and so, you basically live kind of an illusion where you are not really relating to people as much. You are not developing the social skills that are required and I think the generation today; the young kids, they are not developing the ability to relate, their social skills are not as good, and connecting with other people is much more difficult especially when you just basically looking at platforms like Facebook, Instagram, etc.
Melanie: So, as long as you bring up Instagram, Snap Chat, Facebook; should we parents start from a place of trust and if our children are say teenagers and they are using these social media outlets, do we friend them as it were, do we watch their progress on there or do we trust them and say okay, every once in a while; I want to look at your Instagram or look at your texts because text is huge. So, do we start from that place of trust or do we kind of get right into it?
Dr. Reyes: I think you probably are going to have to really assess it because – if you look at all the research, there is definitely an increase in depression, an increase in anxiety, an increase in problems with social media. So, I think as parents; I think it’s important that you monitor your kid’s communications through those platforms. The extent of it, I’m not exactly sure. But it’s something that needs to be looked at and needs to be discussed. But it definitely needs to be monitored.
Melanie: Now, I mentioned before that AAP changed the recommendations on screen time. Kids have to use their computers Dr. Reyes for school now. I mean they are on those computers all the time and maybe they switch tabs and run over to Instagram real quick, but for the most part; they have to do a lot of their work on screen time. How can we as parents, kind of look at that and draw that fine line and say okay, you know I want you off of a screen, but they have to write a paper on there for school?
Dr. Reyes: That’s tough. It’s tough to figure out how much time spent on a screen is related to school versus social time. I mean I think that’s – but I think there are ways to figure out how much someone spends on different social media platforms and that will give you a better sense of how much time is being spent wasted as opposed to studying.
Melanie: So important that we communicate with our children. Do you want us I mean as a psychiatrist; do you want us to be discussing these things with our children and say I want to know if somebody is cyberbullying you? I want to know if you’re having issues or getting into drama on these social media sites?
Dr. Reyes: Oh, absolutely. I think what’s happening now is most kids are relying on other people to help them with their problems as opposed to parents or older siblings. So, you really – they are not getting the guidance that they need and if you look at it, social media creates an image that’s not accurate and that’s the reason. For example, let’s talk about like eating disorders. The reason that eating disorders are amplified by social media is because people have an unrealistic view of the image, especially females. So, I think in a lot of areas, in terms of psychiatric issues; it’s just going to continue to get worse.
Melanie: Do you have some tips for us as parents of things that we can do to – I mean we don’t want to have to resort necessarily Dr. Reyes, to turning off the Wi-Fi router. Do you have some tips that you can give parents that they can use right now, today in dealing with all the social media and our children?
Dr. Reyes: Yes, I think there are a couple of things you can do. Ones is that it takes effort and I know that families are very busy, kids have different activities; but I think if you can work on increasing your connectedness with your children on a regular basis; you will get a better sense of how they’re doing. I mean even – I have two adult kids now, but I mean if you made sure that you had spent dinnertime with your kids three or four times a week, that’s helpful. I mean a lot of families nowadays don’t even actually eat dinner together. I mean if you could spend some quality time in terms of connecting and relating; you get a better insight on how your kids are doing and then you’ll get a sense of what they’re doing with their spare time and what they do on these social media platforms.
Melanie: Can we use these things in this tech and this digital world to teach things like empathy and truth and true communication?
Dr. Reyes: Yes, I think you can because if parents spent more time with their kids connecting; the kids will feel better connected to people in general. I think social media, what it does, it kind of creates a false relationship. I mean most of the relationships on social media are not real. They are an illusion. And you can’t create compassion, caring when you have a relationship that’s an illusion.
Melanie: What about being good role models? Obviously, our teenagers are learning to drive and if they see mom and dad texting while they are driving; they’ll assume that’s okay. If mom and dad are always staring down at their phones and on their social media sites; the kids will do the same. What should we do as role models?
Dr. Reyes: If you want to teach your kids correct behavior; you have to have correct behavior. I mean there is no other way around it. You can’t tell your kids to do one thing and you do another. It’s impossible to change someone’s behavior that way. So, yeah absolutely. Being a role model is very important.
Melanie: So, wrap it up for us Dr. Reyes. Give your best advice as the Medical Director of Henry Mayo’s Behavioral Health Program; you have seen a lot of teens. You have seen parents and families going through all of this together. Give us your best advice. What do you want us to know about the digital lives of our kids?
Dr. Reyes: I think here’s my best advice. I think as a parent, you need to work on your relationship with your kids daily, every moment. Teach them to be better people. I mean that’s the only way the world is going to be a better place. And if you’re spending too little time with them; and too little time understanding what they’re experiencing; you are not really going to know what they are doing via social media or anything else. So, that’s basically my advice.
Melanie: Thank you so much for being with us today. You’re listening to It’s Your Health Radio with Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital. For more information, please visit www.henrymayo.com that’s www.henrymayo.com . This is Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for tuning in.