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Is Sex Acceptable on the First Date?

From the Show: Staying Well
Summary: Ladies: the taboo of sex on the first date could now be considered to be outdated.
Air Date: 9/6/13
Duration: 10
Host: Melanie Cole, MS
Guest Bio: Justin Lehmiller, PhD & Jeff Wilser
justin lehmillerThe Psychology of Human Sexuality was created in order to share the science of sex, love, and relationships in a way that is both engaging and accessible. The website is run by Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller, who received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University and currently teaches in the Department of Psychology at Harvard University. He conducts research on topics including secret relationships, prejudice and stigma, sexual orientation, and friends with benefits. Dr. Lehmiller has published more than 25 scholarly works to date, including articles in some of the leading journals on sex and relationships, several book chapters, and a textbook, A Social Psychology Research Experience. His research has been featured prominently in numerous media outlets, including the Chicago Tribune, Psychology Today, the Globe and Mail, Men's Health, and the Sunday Times. In addition, he has appeared on several episodes of the television program Taboo on the National Geographic Channel as well as the web series HuffPost Live to talk about sex and love from a scientific standpoint. He writes a column entitled "Lusting, Loving, and Leaving" on the Science of Relationships website and is a guest contributor on Good in Bed. Dr. Lehmiller has just completed a book entitled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that will be released in 2014.

Jeff WilserJeff Wilser is a nationally-syndicated writer and the co-author of It's Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date: and Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked, the author of The Maxims of Manhood, and the co-author of Pulitizer-bait The Man Cave Book. His writing has appeared in print or online in GQ, New York Magazine, Glamour, VH1, Esquire, mental_floss, MTV, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, the Miami Herald, the Baltimore Sun, Detroit Free Press, and New York Daily News. He is also the founding editor of groom website ThePlunge.com. He's on twitter at @jeffwilser.
Is Sex Acceptable on the First Date?
Ladies: the taboo of sex on the first date could now be considered to be outdated.

Until recently, women were convinced that waiting a few dates to have sex was rule #1 in dating. Climbing into bed with a man so quickly would show that you are promiscuous or slutty, and would unquestionably disqualify you as girlfriend or marriage material.

Sex on the first date still might not be the route you want to take, and that's OK. The point is that women are starting to be able to be as sexually expressive as men, without the double-standard. Maybe it's time to bend the rules a little bit, when the sexual chemistry is palpable. "You've got to test drive the car before you buy it."

So, when you are trying to figure out why he hasn't called, can you eliminate the possibility that you "gave it up" too quickly; or is sex on the first date still frowned upon?

Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller, who teaches social psychology at Harvard University and studies sexuality and relationships, is joined by Jeff Wilser, co-author of It's Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date: and Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked. Together, they explain the male perspective of sex on the first date and their personal wisdom on the rules of dating and relationships.



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