What is so wrong with being perfect or even just the concept of perfectionism?
According to Dr. Jane Bluestein, author of The Perfection Deception: Why Trying to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships, Making You Sick, and Holding Your Happiness Hostage, in terms of perfectionism, it's important to distinguish between being disappointed that you put in the work and didn't get the results you want and constantly feeling like you're not good enough, or you experience stress, anxiety and fear that you're going to continually make mistakes.
The difference is quite significant, and the biggest factor is that perfectionism is based in fear.
As Dr. Jane puts it, “healthy striving” does not usually involve trying to prove ourselves or our worth, and it wouldn’t be likely to be used as a way of avoiding feelings or dealing with the real issues in our lives. Not only that, but one individual's perfectionism may look very different from how it shows up in someone else.
For instance, says Dr. Jane, "I tend to cross the line when I’m overcommitting or overcorrecting, or when I actually think I can accomplish a to-do list that would reasonably take weeks to finish. For other people, it may demand plastic surgery or self-starvation to get their body to look a certain way, a failure to start a project (or finish one), not letting their kids have friends over because it will mess up the house, or, say not being able to work if there is one stray paper clip on their desk."
Listen in as Dr. Jane joins Dr. Susanne to share more about the dangers of striving to be perfect, as well as the message she wanted to get across in her book.