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How to Stop Rushing into Love

From the Show: HER
Summary: Wipe the stars from your eyes and enter a relationship with your eyes wide open. Strive for sexual parity and clarity.
Air Date: 8/9/18
Duration: 28:05
Host: Pam Peeke, MD
Guest Bio: Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT
Ian KernerIan Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist. He is the author of numerous books, including the best-selling classic, She Comes First.
How to Stop Rushing into Love
When you fall in love, you want to completely mesh with someone. With hearts in your eyes, you seek a complete overlap with interests. Some folks lose themselves in the immersion of new love.

It’s okay to overlap, but you need to maintain a strong sense of self. Recognizing what is important to you helps you smartly see with those rose-colored glasses. It will improve your relationship foundation.

A major complaint in relationship therapy is desire discrepancy— mismatched libidos or sexual interests. In a culture of swiping for near-instant satisfaction, love and satisfaction can seem elusive.

Sex is more than just intercourse. A sense of emotional safety and security leads to connection. That said, love and relationships require risk. Expressing and exploring sexual fantasies and desires with your partner is not easy, but it is necessary.

More young men have complaints about erectile dysfunction now. There’s so much pressure on being a superstar in bed that it can reduce the ability to enjoy the moment. Partners expect a connection, not a performance.

Your best bet is to keep an accurate picture of your partner in your head. Know the individual you love, flaws and all.

Listen as Dr. Ian Kerner joins Dr. Pamela Peeke to discuss how to really understand love and have appropriate expectations for sex.

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