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Love Before Sex: The Key to Relationship Success

Guest : Laurie Gelfand, PhD
From the Show: Naturally Savvy
Summary: These days, it seems like sex on the first date is quite common. But if you're truly looking for a life partner, might that be a mistake?
Air Date: 4/23/14
Duration: 10
Host: Andrea Donsky, RHN and Lisa Davis, MPH
Love Before Sex: The Key to Relationship Success
These days, it seems like sex on the first date is quite common.

But if you're truly looking for a life partner, might that be a mistake?

It certainly can be.

And, if you've ever heard the expression, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" you might tend to agree.

Even serious relationships can often be mediocre if the relationship is based solely on sex.

Fortunately, you don't have to keep performing trial-and-error tactics to find the right guy for you.

Dr. Laurie Gelfand has come up with a "formula" on how to pace a relationship from meeting him to marrying him. This formula allows a relationship to progress at a natural pace instead of dragging on for years and years without really going anywhere.

The formula can be applied to women of all ages, from teens to women in their 70s or older, and helps establish a foundation first to build that relationship that you really want.

So, how does this formula work?

Wait until your guy makes a sexual advance and then "set your standard" for responding. Do you want to wait until you're in a committed, monogamous relationship? Engaged? Married? You decide.

And, the only time you need to bring this up is when he makes the advance, because he's now asking something of you and it gives you the opportunity to have that conversation. It's taking care of YOU and what you want without giving all of yourself to him.

Why do women struggle with sex and love more than men?

Many women don't realize how much they bond via sex. The oxytocin released during sex (and other intimate activities) leads to those feelings of love and commitment, even if your partner isn't feeling the same thing. In fact, women release far more oxytocin than men.

When your feelings aren't reciprocated, it can be devastating and bewildering.

What it all comes down to is that you have to have those conversations about relationships. This is scary, of course... you don't want to scare the guy away. But it's crucial for relationship development.

Dr. Gelfand joins Andrea and Lisa to share more about her love-before-sex formula, as well as tips for making sure you end up in the relationship that is best for YOU.
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