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Paper-Train Your Problem Relatives & Employees for the Holidays

From the Show: Naturally Savvy
Summary: Since you can't dis-invite a difficult relative or employee to your holiday party, what can you do?
Air Date: 12/16/15
Duration: 10
Host: Andrea Donsky, RHN and Lisa Davis, MPH
Guest Bio: Mark Goulston, MD
Mark-Goulston croppedDr. Mark Goulston is a former clinical psychiatrist, FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer, UCLA professor of psychiatry and was selected as one of America’s Top Psychiatrists 2005, 2006, 2010, 2011 by the Consumers’ Research Council of America.

He is the author of seven books, with his book Just Listen becoming the top book on listening in the world and his recent book, Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life, climbing up multiple best seller lists.

He is the Founder and Co-CEO of the Goulston Group consulting company and Co-Founder of Heartfelt Leadership, dedicated to identifying and developing leaders who "Dare to Care."
  • Book Title: Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
  • Guest Twitter Account: @markgoulston
Paper-Train Your Problem Relatives & Employees for the Holidays
The holidays bring celebrations of all kinds, from family get-togethers to office parties.

Unfortunately, there always seems to be one or two people who come with a negative attitude and are intent on bringing others down with them.

Instead of putting up with their behavior this year, what are some tricks you can use to turn their frowns upside down?

Mark Goulston, MD, author of Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life, joins hosts Andrea Donsky and Lisa Davis to share his expertise in the field of negotiation

Dr. Goulston says you can actually train these people to be positive. One tactic is to call them ahead of time (or, if you're a female, have a male call... men asking for help is often received better) and say something like, "I need your help with something. You're an important person. We don't know who of the other party attendees has been suffering throughout the year. We need you to be the person to welcome people, take their coats, get them a drink." Essentially, you are giving them a positive task.

The worse they will come back with is, "I don't know if I can do that." What they're NOT going to say is, "I can't do that, I was planning on ruining the party!"

Remember, difficult people often feel like the world has mistreated them, and being difficult is their way of saying "screw you!"

Another thing to keep in mind, says Dr. Goulston, is that job burnout and stress are often caused by dealing with difficult people, not from too much work. You constantly have to put a lid on how you'd like to respond, which causes you even more stress. You certainly don't want to take that attitude into your office holiday party.

Listen in as Dr. Goulston shares more tips for dealing with difficult people, as well as why they are so difficult in the first place.
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