Cynthia DiCamelli, co-chair of the OregonCARES Community Coalition and a family resource liaison with the Oregon Municipal Court, discusses the effects of using alcohol as a coping mechanism during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Transcription:
Introduction: Patients and families are Stoughton Hospitals number one priority to provide trusted health information to our patients and community, we present Stoughton Hospital Health Talk with Melanie Cole.
Melanie Cole: It's been a really tough past few months for teens. Well, for all of us, really with all the stress that so many of us are feeling, many parents are drinking more. And what are we saying to our kids when we're doing that welcome to Stoughton Health Talk. I'm Melanie Cole, and today we're discussing alcohol availability during the pandemic and our teens. Joining me is Cynthia Dicamelli. She's the Co Chair of Oregon Cares Community Coalition and a Family Resource Liaison for Oregon Municipal Court. Cynthia, it's a pleasure to have you with us today. And before we get into what we're possibly doing to our kids, with our own drinking, help us to understand COVID and our kids. And what's the latest information on how it's affecting them emotionally, physically, psycho, socially. I mean, what have you been seeing how kids are reacting to all of this?
Cynthia Dicamelli: I'm going to preface, what I'm going to say with telling you that I'm not an expert on kids. I'm not, you know, the person who's out there seeing kids on a professional basis. But here's what I know about kids, especially teenagers and what I call tweens, the teens who aren't quite teenagers yet. They're not quite in high school, but boy, the brain stuff is still happening with them. We know that those kids need social interaction. And for the last six months, by and large, they haven't had any. We also know that even before COVID kids need safe risk taking opportunities. And again, those are just not things that are out there that kids have available to them. So we have kids, not in school, not getting social at time, not in sports, not in clubs. They don't have anything except screens, particularly to distract them and to provide relief. And they have no mechanism for those normal impulses of risk-taking. So what are they going to do? They're going to make use of the things that are right in front of them. And we know in our homes right now, one of those things is a wider amount of alcohol than we normally see. I've seen three different surveys in the last six months of alcohol buying habits. And what we know is people that normally would perhaps drink on a Friday night, you know, go out to the fish fry and, and have a couple of beers and come home, are now stockpiling alcohol in their homes, their drinking more often, they're drinking more because they don't have to drive. Right. And sometimes they're even drinking earlier in the day.
Host: So, you basically just said is happening really all over the country. How are these actions? Because I know adults are sometimes using this as our own coping mechanisms. We're stressed out, maybe out of work. All of these things are combining how are these actions sending our teens a message on what's unacceptable coping strategy? And I've worried about this as my kids do see me have that second glass of wine or a little bourbon at the end of the night, as a relaxing thing, when I maybe would never have done that on a school night.
Cynthia Dicamelli: You're a role model for how you live other parts of your life, your relationship with alcohol, your relationship with any substance is a role model for your child. So I get it that we're all a little still stressed about COVID and we're probably going to be stressed about COVID for quite a while. So we need to come up with some healthier coping strategies. And one of those is getting, you know, wrapping your hands around, what your coping strategies are and whether they're working for you or not. So would it be better instead of taking that sip of bourbon? If I can use that as an example that you said, okay, I need to unwind, I'm going to take a walk around the block because exercise helps me unwind, or I'm going to go downstairs and get on the treadmill or find some other way of coping with that stress, meditation, yoga. I don't care what it is, but finding something else that works for you.
Host: Well, that's great advice. And I have personally tried to replace that bourbon with chamomile tea at the end of the night. So they come in, see me drinking a cup of tea instead. And what do you see that our teens are doing with this info? They're seeing us. And yes, we want to be good role models and practice meditation or yoga or exercise or any of these other things, but teens will be teens. So they're going to go into our liquor cabinets, but now we have more alcohol around. It's a little easier.
Cynthia Dicamelli: We do. So kids need to be supervised. I have heard of more and more families who have said, yeah, we used to have a lock on the refrigerator out in the garage because kids were coming in. And do you know the term garaging? I don't know if that's a local term here, but garaging is kids sort of cruising the street in the summertime and seeing the garage doors open, and knowing that there's that extra fridge in the garage that has beer in it. And or whatever beverage of choice, but usually beer or a wine cooler or something like that. And they go in and they take one, they don't take a whole case. They take one from this garage, one from that garage. And before you know, it, they've got a six pack or more. And then they, you know, ride off to the woods at the end of the street. And they imbibe. Parents that we had a fairly substantial campaign about that and have been offering refrigerator locks to parents in our community for quite a while. I have had parents now tell me that they're putting a similar lock of some sort on the cabinet that has liquor in it. Hopefully you don't have to do that with your kids, but really if your kids are home and unsupervised and you haven't had that, I trust you conversation with them. Then maybe you need to, at least for now put some kind of security on your alcohol supply. The added benefit is if you have to unlock it, it makes you stop and think as well. Is this really what I need right now? Is there something else I can use instead.
Host: See, that's really great advice on ways that we can counter these trends. And it's so interesting that we're seeing this right now. How can we come together as families? You mentioned that open line of communication and the trust talk, which I've had about a million times with my kids, swear every day I am going to keep having it.
Cynthia Dicamelli: Keep having it. You need to keep having that conversation.
Host: And as much as they roll their eyeballs and they're sick of it, they're like, you know, you can trust us, you know, but we have to keep having it for parents that don't know how to start that conversation, especially when we're drinking and they see us do it. And they say, well, you're doing it. So help us start that conversation.
Cynthia Dicamelli: First of all, there is a great resource that the Wisconsin Department of Public Health created called Small Talks. It is some great ideas. It has some videos that sort of model conversations. And it says you don't have those conversations when you're, you know, you don't have the big conversation. You have a little teeny tiny conversation. You have the, 30 seconds in the car, you have the 45 seconds on the couch while you're watching a TV and a commercial comes on. You don't need to have the big lecture every time, but you need to have an ongoing dialogue about alcohol, about substances. So Small Talks is a great resource for parents and you don't have to, you know, anyone can access it. It doesn't have to be, it can be a grandma, it can be an aunt or an uncle. It can be somebody in the neighborhood who just wants to make sure that they're having the right conversations with kids. So having those conversations frequently is a great place to start.
And just letting your kids know what your expectations are, setting limits and stick with those limits. But the other thing that you can tell children, kids, teenagers tweens, is you didn't give them alcohol when they were two or three, because their brain was developing. And now as teenagers, their brain is going through the same kind of massive change and development. And the substances that they put into their brains changes their brains permanently. And that's why we don't want kids drinking until they're 21, or even later, if we can manage it, we don't want them using tobacco and nicotine until they're 21. Or even later, we know that kids that start using alcohol early 12, 13, 14, and use it in a substantial way, have a substantially greater chance of having a substance use disorder in their twenties. So you're just keeping them safe. You tell them that you love them, that you're keeping them safe. And that's why.
Host: Wow. You know, that's really good advice. And tell us a little bit, Cynthia, about Oregon Cares Coalition. What, what do you do for them? You're such an interesting lady. Tell us what you're doing there for them.
Cynthia Dicamelli: So, Oregon Cares Coalition began. Oh my gosh. Probably 10 or so years ago. It grew out of a couple of things. I was actually on the school board in Oregon for nine years. And when I left a position opened up in the school district that I applied for it never expected to get, and it grew into this sort of parent liaison role. Part of it was about alcohol and substance abuse, but part of it was also just, you know, basic approaches to parenting. And some of the things that we've talked about, how do you start a conversation with your kids about these things? And when I came off the school board, one of the things that I realized is that in those nine years, we had seen more than I wanted to see, a larger number than I wanted to see, kids in expulsion hearings because of alcohol and because of other substances.
But mostly because of alcohol. Kids were we're going home because we have an open campus in our high school at lunchtime. Kids when leaving the high school, they were going to a friend's house nearby. They were having a couple of drinks and they were coming back to school under the influence. And we said, wow, this is not working. So I said, how are we going to approach this? And found a partner in crime in Amy Miller who is my coach here. And we said that doesn't make sense to be talking to kids when they're 15 or 16 or 17, we need to be setting that stage much earlier. And so out of that desire to create a community norm that says, it's okay not to drink that more kids don't drink than do. Oregon Cares evolved. And we've been fortunate to be part of an organization called the Alliance for Wisconsin Youth, which is community coalitions like ours, all over the State.
We get a little funding through them, which helps us do some of these things. We were able to very early on do the parents who host Lose the Most campaigns and we were doing those two or three times a year. And what the coalition tries to do and has tried to do from its inception is to be more than school, court, and police even want to have every part of our community recognized. So we welcome members of the faith community. We welcome members of the organizations that support youth in other ways, other community organizations, we have members of the healthcare community on our coalition. So it is a group that works tries to see the problems and the solutions from as many viewpoints as we can possibly bring to the table.
Host: What great work you are doing. This is such an important topic, especially right now, but really, as you say all the time, but right now with the ease and the availability of alcohol and substances around the house, it becomes much easier for our teens. And I'd like you to wrap it up, please, Cynthia, with your best advice for parents like me listening, and what you want us to know about what our kids see, what our kids are seeing us do. And as a result, they're taking what we're using as our coping mechanisms and doing it themselves, and they're too young to be doing it. Their teenage brains are not developed, as you said. So kind of wrap it up with your best advice and what you would like listeners to know about what's happening right now.
Cynthia Dicamelli: I think that what I would say to you, if you were sitting across the table from me or to any parent, is that everyone, adults, kids, everyone is sort of by turns, anxious, bored, depressed lonely, all of those things. And there are healthy ways to cope with those. All of those feelings and there are ways that not that don't necessarily help you cope with those feelings. And so as a parent and as a family, let's all work together to find the things that work for us. If that means as a family, we're all going out and taking a walk together. That's great. Some families don't want to do that. Some families can't do that, but finding a way to sort of take care of each other and provide the support that parents need and that kids need in this time will bring us all through this in a healthier way.
Host: I think so, too. What a moving episode, Cynthia, what a great guest you are. Thank you so much for joining us today. And for more information on the Oregon Cares Coalition, please visit Oregoncarescoalition.org. That concludes this episode of Stoughton Health Talk. You can always go to our website at stoughtonhealth.com for more information, and to get connected with one of our providers. Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast and all the other Stoughton Hospital podcasts. Listeners, please share this show with your friends and family on social media. That way we all learn from the experts at Stoughton Hospital together. And this is really an important episode that I think we all need to listen to. So share this show. I'm Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for listening.