Dr. Sarah Ruiz, a Pediatric Psychologist at CHOC, discusses how mindfulness can be used to manage stressors in kid's and teen's everyday lives.
Transcription:
Melanie Cole (Host): Welcome to Long Live Childhood, a pediatric health and wellness podcast presented by Children's Health of Orange County. Together, we can keep kids happy and healthy. I'm Melanie Cole, and I invite you to join us as we discuss mindfulness in kids and teens. Joining me is Dr. Sarah Ruiz. She's a pediatric psychologist with Children's Health of Orange County. Dr. Ruiz, I'm so glad that you've joined us today. And before we get into this topic, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your expertise surrounding this subject?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Yes. Thank you so much for having me here today. So I'm a pediatric psychologist. I work with kids, teens, and young adults as a clinical psychologist in medical settings. So I have a lot of experience teaching mindfulness to help support kids when they're in the hospital, helping them manage pain or medical conditions, but also, you know, helping them manage things like stress and anxiety and managing difficult emotions.
Melanie Cole (Host): So tell us what mindfulness really is because we hear this term bandied about, and people don't really know what it is and what's the difference between mindfulness meditation, conscious stress reduction, relaxation techniques. They don't kind of know the difference.
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Sure. And, you know, mindfulness for me is all about being present in the moment that you're in, being aware and accepting of what's happening from this nonjudgmental stance, which is really a tough skill to develop. So it really is about noticing what you're feeling either physically or emotionally, what you're thinking and not getting bogged down in that, being able to notice them and let go of those thoughts to remain in the present.
Melanie Cole (Host): Right now, Dr. Ruiz, our kids are in an unprecedented time. I'm a 58-year-old woman, so I don't remember that we knew anything about anything that was going on in the world or anything back then, but our kids know a lot and they're so immersed in it. It comes at them from all angles on their social media and everything. We all are feeling this stress, it's kind of a worldwide feeling right now. But how do we know that it's taking a toll on our psychological and our even physiological, children's? Because the fact is that these kids, with school online and all of it, are dealing with stress we could not even imagine. Tell us what our kids are going through right now. How do we know if that stress is taking a toll on our children, psychologically physiologically? Can you give us some red flags to that stress when it's manifesting itself in such a negative way?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Stress is such a tough thing because there are some levels of stress that can be really healthy for us. It will help us achieve more, focus more. For example, if kids are a little stressed or a little bit nervous about an exam, that can give them the extra push to study a little bit more, prepare a little bit more, achieve a little bit more, but really the level of stress that we're all experiencing right now especially with COVID-19 is a different type of stress that's just longer lasting and is going to wear down on us. We're so used to having our nervous system activated due to all this stress, feeling tension in our body, maybe noticing different things like our heart beating a little bit faster, tightness in our muscles, this overall fatigue, and those are some of the signs of kind of longer stress, the stress that can happen on our bodies.
For younger kids, you might be noticing they're just feeling a little bit more tired, but also more irritable maybe, crankier. Things that used to not bother them, all of a sudden kids are much more irritated, especially for teens. For younger kids, you might be noticing that they're just having a lot more questions about what's happening and needing a lot more reassurance from mom or dad about what's going to happen next, what's this thing that's happening, what is this thing that I'm hearing about? And I noticed this a lot more with social media and the news. Kids pick up on little things from the news or hear about it from social media and then they can really get stuck on it, just wondering what's going to happen next, what is this thing, what about this other thing that they heard online.
Melanie Cole (Host): It's true. And I have a 19 and a 21-year-old, so I know what I've seen. And my friends with younger kids, it's even more different. The kids that are in elementary school or in high school still, it's tough for these guys. So why don't we talk about some beginner techniques for parents that are looking to start mindfulness with their kids. Can you read through a script or tell us what it's like or give us an example of something that can be used by kids and teens and their parents even? Maybe we can kind of all do it together.
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Absolutely. You know, mindfulness is just one of those skills that I love to teach, because it's easy to adapt to kids of different levels and really everyone benefits from it, even us adults. And we certainly hear a lot about mindfulness. We've heard about a lot of apps and hear about it in the news. And sometimes people try to jump into kind of longer meditations and they find that that's not quite to their liking and that's okay. It's kind of hard to jump from not doing any mindfulness to practicing a ton of it. But there are a lot of different ways that little kids and teens and families can build up to integrate mindful practices throughout their days. And for little kids, I really recommend that the family do it together and try to make it as fun as possible. They can even be presented as little games to do with kids throughout the day.
So for example, one of the things that I do like to teach kids of all ages, this works pretty well with teens too, is focusing on five senses. Sometimes it's called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or just five senses. But really sitting down in a room, laying down, getting comfortable wherever you are and focusing on five things you can see in your surroundings. Taking the moment to notice those little details that maybe you haven't noticed before. Notice four things you can feel, three things you can hear, one thing you can taste or smell, and really just using that to utilize all your senses to quiet down your mind, kind of be able to set aside that worry you have about tomorrow or that thing you're still thinking about that happened yesterday and focus instead on the here and now, what it feels like to be in your body, what details are around you that maybe you haven't noticed before. And if you go through the five steps and don't feel super calm at the end of it, that's okay. You can challenge yourself and go through it again and try to find five additional things you haven't noticed before and go through the list that way until you can kind of feel your mind quiet down a little bit.
For little kids, that might be a little bit of a harder exercise to sit through. but you can integrate aspects of that. For example, doing a mindful walk, going on a walk with your kids, making sure to leave your earbuds at home and just kind of be present as you're walking. Notice what it feels like to be in your body, physically moving in that moment, but also notice the details kind of around you. Help your kids notice the trees, the colors of the leaves. Maybe some of the colors or details of the homes around you as you're walking through the neighborhood, what it smells like outside, maybe things that they're hearing. And little things like that can be integrated throughout the day. And it can be fun for kids to kind of take a moment and look around.
Melanie Cole (Host): Wow. You really just blew me away there. And I was trying to do what you were saying while you were saying it. Listeners, I advise you to just rewind and follow along with Dr. Ruiz, because that was beautiful and really helpful. Now, I'm an exercise physiologist. So I try to do these things, but also as a parent and a worrier by nature, it's hard. So for parents like me, when we're so worried all the time and busy, and that gets in the way of trying to quiet our mind, what do you else do emphasize for self-care, things that we can try to learn to practice this peace and mindfulness? What are some other bits of advice you'd like to give us?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: One of the biggest things is just making it part of your routine. You don't have to spend too long on it, right? You don't have to commit 10 minutes, 15, 20 minutes doing a meditation. It could be a quick check-in in the morning, taking a moment to practice these five senses, taking a moment to ground yourself in the moment and try to practice mindfulness. And making it part of your routine means that you can kind of focus on it, prioritize it and make it a part of your own self-care. And that's also a good way to engage kids and especially teens, right? You can show them that this is something that's important to you. Make it fun for them, make it something that they don't have to do on their own, make it part of a family practice.
Melanie Cole (Host): That's an important point is that, for parents, we have to role model this. And when we're feeling stressed that we cannot control, it's very infectious to our kids. And my kids have even said it to me. They're like, "Your stress is stressing me out." And so it really is something that builds and has this domino effect. Can you recommend any mindfulness apps that you think are really, really good because kids love apps and they've all got their phones, especially those teens. Can you recommend any?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Absolutely. I mean, Headspace is the one that comes to mind. We've all heard of that one. For younger kids, actually, they partnered with Sesame Street and so they now have a crossover with, I think, it's Cookie Monster and sesame Street always has amazing resources. They have games and activities and worksheets on various themes. So, for any parents out there who haven't explored it, they have a separate website called Sesame Street Workshop that just has amazing resources.
For kids and teens, I also recommend Smiling Mind. That one is an app where you can actually input a little bit about how you're doing that day. It'll ask you for your mood and then it's going to offer you a couple of different meditations that you can do. Some of them will be mindfulness. Some of them will be relaxation, but you can try a couple of different things and see what works for you.
Melanie Cole (Host): What great information you're offering here today. As we wrap up Dr. Ruiz, where else can we go to look for help to support our children that are under incredible stress right now? And as a pediatric psychologist, you know, and we've discussed this a little bit, but for women, we have to put on our own masks, ironically, before we can take care of those that we love. So if we can't control our own stress, we're not going to be able to help our children. So can you wrap this up for us with your best advice about taking care of ourselves so we can take care of our children and they can help themselves by learning mindfulness?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: I agree with you just a hundred percent. I think that is one of the toughest things as a pediatric psychologist, working with parents and just helping them prioritize their own wellbeing and their own self-care. So, you know, it is so true that you have to be able to be well yourself in order to be a great caregiver to your child. So really prioritizing mindfulness or any other relaxation as part of self-care, I think is just key.
There are other resources available as well on our CHOC website, different mindfulness videos that you can do with your family or alone at choc.org/coping. And really, apps like Headspace are just going to have a lot of resources for adults as well, so they can start building their own mindful practice.
Melanie Cole (Host): Thank you so much, Dr. Ruiz, what a helpful podcast this was. So informative and you have such a lovely voice for those meditations. Thank you so much again for joining us.
For more pediatric health and wellness tips, please visit choc.org/coping for more information and to get connected with one of our providers. Thanks so much for listening to Long Live Childhood, a pediatric health and wellness podcast presented by Children's Health of Orange County. Together, we can keep kids happy and healthy, and please remember to share on your social channels as we're all learning from the experts at CHOC together. I'm Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for joining us today.
Melanie Cole (Host): Welcome to Long Live Childhood, a pediatric health and wellness podcast presented by Children's Health of Orange County. Together, we can keep kids happy and healthy. I'm Melanie Cole, and I invite you to join us as we discuss mindfulness in kids and teens. Joining me is Dr. Sarah Ruiz. She's a pediatric psychologist with Children's Health of Orange County. Dr. Ruiz, I'm so glad that you've joined us today. And before we get into this topic, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your expertise surrounding this subject?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Yes. Thank you so much for having me here today. So I'm a pediatric psychologist. I work with kids, teens, and young adults as a clinical psychologist in medical settings. So I have a lot of experience teaching mindfulness to help support kids when they're in the hospital, helping them manage pain or medical conditions, but also, you know, helping them manage things like stress and anxiety and managing difficult emotions.
Melanie Cole (Host): So tell us what mindfulness really is because we hear this term bandied about, and people don't really know what it is and what's the difference between mindfulness meditation, conscious stress reduction, relaxation techniques. They don't kind of know the difference.
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Sure. And, you know, mindfulness for me is all about being present in the moment that you're in, being aware and accepting of what's happening from this nonjudgmental stance, which is really a tough skill to develop. So it really is about noticing what you're feeling either physically or emotionally, what you're thinking and not getting bogged down in that, being able to notice them and let go of those thoughts to remain in the present.
Melanie Cole (Host): Right now, Dr. Ruiz, our kids are in an unprecedented time. I'm a 58-year-old woman, so I don't remember that we knew anything about anything that was going on in the world or anything back then, but our kids know a lot and they're so immersed in it. It comes at them from all angles on their social media and everything. We all are feeling this stress, it's kind of a worldwide feeling right now. But how do we know that it's taking a toll on our psychological and our even physiological, children's? Because the fact is that these kids, with school online and all of it, are dealing with stress we could not even imagine. Tell us what our kids are going through right now. How do we know if that stress is taking a toll on our children, psychologically physiologically? Can you give us some red flags to that stress when it's manifesting itself in such a negative way?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Stress is such a tough thing because there are some levels of stress that can be really healthy for us. It will help us achieve more, focus more. For example, if kids are a little stressed or a little bit nervous about an exam, that can give them the extra push to study a little bit more, prepare a little bit more, achieve a little bit more, but really the level of stress that we're all experiencing right now especially with COVID-19 is a different type of stress that's just longer lasting and is going to wear down on us. We're so used to having our nervous system activated due to all this stress, feeling tension in our body, maybe noticing different things like our heart beating a little bit faster, tightness in our muscles, this overall fatigue, and those are some of the signs of kind of longer stress, the stress that can happen on our bodies.
For younger kids, you might be noticing they're just feeling a little bit more tired, but also more irritable maybe, crankier. Things that used to not bother them, all of a sudden kids are much more irritated, especially for teens. For younger kids, you might be noticing that they're just having a lot more questions about what's happening and needing a lot more reassurance from mom or dad about what's going to happen next, what's this thing that's happening, what is this thing that I'm hearing about? And I noticed this a lot more with social media and the news. Kids pick up on little things from the news or hear about it from social media and then they can really get stuck on it, just wondering what's going to happen next, what is this thing, what about this other thing that they heard online.
Melanie Cole (Host): It's true. And I have a 19 and a 21-year-old, so I know what I've seen. And my friends with younger kids, it's even more different. The kids that are in elementary school or in high school still, it's tough for these guys. So why don't we talk about some beginner techniques for parents that are looking to start mindfulness with their kids. Can you read through a script or tell us what it's like or give us an example of something that can be used by kids and teens and their parents even? Maybe we can kind of all do it together.
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Absolutely. You know, mindfulness is just one of those skills that I love to teach, because it's easy to adapt to kids of different levels and really everyone benefits from it, even us adults. And we certainly hear a lot about mindfulness. We've heard about a lot of apps and hear about it in the news. And sometimes people try to jump into kind of longer meditations and they find that that's not quite to their liking and that's okay. It's kind of hard to jump from not doing any mindfulness to practicing a ton of it. But there are a lot of different ways that little kids and teens and families can build up to integrate mindful practices throughout their days. And for little kids, I really recommend that the family do it together and try to make it as fun as possible. They can even be presented as little games to do with kids throughout the day.
So for example, one of the things that I do like to teach kids of all ages, this works pretty well with teens too, is focusing on five senses. Sometimes it's called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or just five senses. But really sitting down in a room, laying down, getting comfortable wherever you are and focusing on five things you can see in your surroundings. Taking the moment to notice those little details that maybe you haven't noticed before. Notice four things you can feel, three things you can hear, one thing you can taste or smell, and really just using that to utilize all your senses to quiet down your mind, kind of be able to set aside that worry you have about tomorrow or that thing you're still thinking about that happened yesterday and focus instead on the here and now, what it feels like to be in your body, what details are around you that maybe you haven't noticed before. And if you go through the five steps and don't feel super calm at the end of it, that's okay. You can challenge yourself and go through it again and try to find five additional things you haven't noticed before and go through the list that way until you can kind of feel your mind quiet down a little bit.
For little kids, that might be a little bit of a harder exercise to sit through. but you can integrate aspects of that. For example, doing a mindful walk, going on a walk with your kids, making sure to leave your earbuds at home and just kind of be present as you're walking. Notice what it feels like to be in your body, physically moving in that moment, but also notice the details kind of around you. Help your kids notice the trees, the colors of the leaves. Maybe some of the colors or details of the homes around you as you're walking through the neighborhood, what it smells like outside, maybe things that they're hearing. And little things like that can be integrated throughout the day. And it can be fun for kids to kind of take a moment and look around.
Melanie Cole (Host): Wow. You really just blew me away there. And I was trying to do what you were saying while you were saying it. Listeners, I advise you to just rewind and follow along with Dr. Ruiz, because that was beautiful and really helpful. Now, I'm an exercise physiologist. So I try to do these things, but also as a parent and a worrier by nature, it's hard. So for parents like me, when we're so worried all the time and busy, and that gets in the way of trying to quiet our mind, what do you else do emphasize for self-care, things that we can try to learn to practice this peace and mindfulness? What are some other bits of advice you'd like to give us?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: One of the biggest things is just making it part of your routine. You don't have to spend too long on it, right? You don't have to commit 10 minutes, 15, 20 minutes doing a meditation. It could be a quick check-in in the morning, taking a moment to practice these five senses, taking a moment to ground yourself in the moment and try to practice mindfulness. And making it part of your routine means that you can kind of focus on it, prioritize it and make it a part of your own self-care. And that's also a good way to engage kids and especially teens, right? You can show them that this is something that's important to you. Make it fun for them, make it something that they don't have to do on their own, make it part of a family practice.
Melanie Cole (Host): That's an important point is that, for parents, we have to role model this. And when we're feeling stressed that we cannot control, it's very infectious to our kids. And my kids have even said it to me. They're like, "Your stress is stressing me out." And so it really is something that builds and has this domino effect. Can you recommend any mindfulness apps that you think are really, really good because kids love apps and they've all got their phones, especially those teens. Can you recommend any?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: Absolutely. I mean, Headspace is the one that comes to mind. We've all heard of that one. For younger kids, actually, they partnered with Sesame Street and so they now have a crossover with, I think, it's Cookie Monster and sesame Street always has amazing resources. They have games and activities and worksheets on various themes. So, for any parents out there who haven't explored it, they have a separate website called Sesame Street Workshop that just has amazing resources.
For kids and teens, I also recommend Smiling Mind. That one is an app where you can actually input a little bit about how you're doing that day. It'll ask you for your mood and then it's going to offer you a couple of different meditations that you can do. Some of them will be mindfulness. Some of them will be relaxation, but you can try a couple of different things and see what works for you.
Melanie Cole (Host): What great information you're offering here today. As we wrap up Dr. Ruiz, where else can we go to look for help to support our children that are under incredible stress right now? And as a pediatric psychologist, you know, and we've discussed this a little bit, but for women, we have to put on our own masks, ironically, before we can take care of those that we love. So if we can't control our own stress, we're not going to be able to help our children. So can you wrap this up for us with your best advice about taking care of ourselves so we can take care of our children and they can help themselves by learning mindfulness?
Dr Sarah Ruiz: I agree with you just a hundred percent. I think that is one of the toughest things as a pediatric psychologist, working with parents and just helping them prioritize their own wellbeing and their own self-care. So, you know, it is so true that you have to be able to be well yourself in order to be a great caregiver to your child. So really prioritizing mindfulness or any other relaxation as part of self-care, I think is just key.
There are other resources available as well on our CHOC website, different mindfulness videos that you can do with your family or alone at choc.org/coping. And really, apps like Headspace are just going to have a lot of resources for adults as well, so they can start building their own mindful practice.
Melanie Cole (Host): Thank you so much, Dr. Ruiz, what a helpful podcast this was. So informative and you have such a lovely voice for those meditations. Thank you so much again for joining us.
For more pediatric health and wellness tips, please visit choc.org/coping for more information and to get connected with one of our providers. Thanks so much for listening to Long Live Childhood, a pediatric health and wellness podcast presented by Children's Health of Orange County. Together, we can keep kids happy and healthy, and please remember to share on your social channels as we're all learning from the experts at CHOC together. I'm Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for joining us today.