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Helping Another with Self Care without Playing Bad Cop

From the Show: HER
Summary: How can you helps someone with self care without nagging?
Air Date: 5/26/16
Duration: 10
Host: Michelle King Robson and Pam Peeke, MD
Guest Bio: Russ L'HommeDieu, DPT
Dr. Russ  Karen LHommeDieuDr. Russ L’HommeDieu is a doctor of physical therapy, an American College of Sports Medicine Wellcoach® and a weight loss expert who has, himself, lost and maintained a 200 pound weight loss for over 10 years. He is the founder of an online weight loss program and support community called Lose Weight for Good where one of his favorite mantras is “If you want a smaller body, then you need to grow a bigger life.” Now, with his wife Karen, he is working on a new program called, I Love You to Health that helps people in “mixed weight” relationships where weight and health is a real issue and, in some cases, actually threatens the relationship itself.

Helping Another with Self Care without Playing Bad Cop
Your loved one is engaging in non-optimum behavior and you want to help him to take care of himself. Should you police his activities?

The nagging is all in the recipient's perception. Anyone who feels nagged will shut down.

Dr. Russ L'HommeDieu has a countdown of tips to help:

10. Be a patient guide. The problem is known. Let your loved one face it when ready. Look for an opportunity for change talk.
9. Lead by example. The impact you have on another's life creates an atmosphere that you'd like to see your beloved live.
8. Practice empathy. Understand his emotions and feelings.
7. Don't be perfect. You don't have to live like a saint. Are you willing to fail and learn from it? Imperfection with willingness to learn is golden.
6. Listen before you talk.
5. Ask permission. Find out if it's okay to bring up a topic. Don't urge him into talking when he doesn't want to talk.
4. Accept every effort made for positive change. Celebrate every little piece.
3. Don't sabotage. Don't celebrate weight loss with ice cream!
2. Raise your environment to help him succeed. Clear out the nonsense that tempts non-optimum behavior.
1. Intention is everything.

Dr. Russ shares how to help others with self care without playing bad cop.